thunder.

i know all i talk about most of the time is just negative things but thats one of the main times i need to write so i guess thats ok. so last night i have one of those moments, the overwhelming feeling of complete desperation like when you start to question everything. that happens though, to me anyways, when i start thinking about relationships and love and the future and all of those decisions that ive made that impact where i am today. tears were involved. it was just a snowball effect. BUT it all started when i soon realized that no matter how bad i wanted a friendship to stay where it was, it was falling apart. my friend could text other people and be perfectly fine with them but they couldnt talk to me. there could be numerous reasons why but honestly i have no idea. ive gone over different scenarios in my head but it still doesnt make things better. im being a girl about it though, and i hate it. and i hate the way that its always on my mind. and ya know what...it pisses me off that it doesnt seem to fade them. maybe i just need to quit caring as much and guard my heart, which i have gotten better at. my emotions get the best of me. oh well im over it, im just trying not to dwell because i need to "rejoice in the Lord always" and thats what im doing. i hand everything over to him because when i try to do life myself, it ends up a screwed up mess. 


ohh ps my girls are going to rah-town AGAIN and im so excited for them (: b. isaacs, you did work tonight. two homeruns. GETT ITTTTT! 


pss although i LOVE storms, i think i about had a heart attack when it thundered two seconds ago. it shook the pictures on my desk. crazy.