that boy on repeat.

my mind is kind of all in a frazzle. that boy is on my mind once again. and it never fails to make a big mess. my eyes are itchy, i can't hardly stand to look at the computer screen, and i have talked katie's ears off. my heart aches, literally and on top of that i'm starting to forget things. little things that i used to know. like the sound of his voice and that comfort of having him tell me goodnight every night. i thought it was getting better but when i think about it, its like it happened yesterday. madison and i were talking about cars today and the idea of a four-runner was tossed around. this brought back memories. those ones you can't seem to get away from for a few minutes until you snap back to reality. its kinda a tough battle between the regret of how things ended and the questioning of whether it would have worked out for both of us in the end. im going through the box at the current moment. some may think im crazy, and maybe i am but honestly i don't care as bad as that sounds. it makes me smile though as the tears stream down my face to know how truly happy i was and how for real, legit in love he was with me. it wasnt just an attraction, it was real. i know all of these posts about that boy are dramatic but ya know sometimes you just have to let it out. and maybe it is all i post about because its all i ever think about. still, after all this time.